I was asleep on the couch, until 4:20, when I heard my husband say, “Get up!” His words weren’t normally so direct, especially at this hour. Yet when I opened my eyes and saw Him sitting straight up on the opposite couch, I immediately responded. Out of the corner of my eye there was a flash of light and I heard a roll of thunder. As quick as I had heard my husband’s voice and responded, the hail began to fall from sky. It was clear to me that my Father in heaven was trying to get my attention.
Following my husband down the stairs, thoughts of Matthew 24 came to mind and I asked myself would I be ready. I immediately thought of all of the events that were taking place in the earth that showed of the times that we are in and I asked again “Will I be ready?” I assured myself that I would, but as I saw the flashes of lightning, heard the thunder and the sound of hail stones falling quaked in my ears, I quickly walked to the other side of the house and down the hallway to see if my kids were still there. “Had they been taken up and I missed it?” I thought. Oh how I was relieved when I walked to the end of the hallway to find that they were still there.
Once back in my bedroom, I laid down and just listened to the sounds that were all around me and I told myself, that it was my duty to make sure that when that day arrived, I would be prepared to take flight. I laid there for a while and then I fell back to sleep. When I woke up, two hours later, to dress my son for school, I felt a tugging on my heart. It was a tugging that said, “Come…” As my son prepared for school, I noticed that the rain had not yet ceased. I knew that I was going to have to take my son to the bus stop in the car, so I readied myself. As I put on my sweater and my shoes, I heard the voice of my Lord say “why aren’t you talking to me?”
That question puzzled me because there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t speak to my Father in heaven. Yet what He was asking me for, was the intimate conversation that we would normally have. I sat for a while in the car with my son and thought about that question. It did not take long for me to understand the reason why He was asking me that. I tried answering Him in my heart. but that just didn’t seem like enough. I still felt Him tugging on my heart saying, “Come…”
Once my son was out of the car, I began to speak to Him. You see, the last time that I read my Bible was April 25th and I think that was the last time that I really sat down and had a conversation with God. By conversation, I mean the intimate conversation that you have with a spouse, friend, or close family member. I had thanked God for all of the wonderful things that He had blessed me with, but because of the stress of this life, I became silent. I found my hiding place in Him, but I stopped talking to Him.
I knew that the word said that He would never leave me nor forsake me. I knew that He would always be there, but because of the things that I was going through, but when He said “get up,” as my husband did, I didn’t quickly respond. The way I saw it, if I got up and started to pray, I might begin to complain like the Israelites, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to just stand and trust that although I didn’t see what was going on, I knew that God was and is taking care of me…and I did. I didn’t want to mess things up with my mouth, so I stayed quiet about those things that were dear to me. I knew that the Bible said that He is attentive to our cry and He hears and answers our every prayer, but I didn’t want to bug Him. I had already asked Him over and over again for what I needed and wanted, and I didn’t want to beg. So I decided to wait…
Well, this morning, He called me. He asked me if my husband had come to me and asked me what was wrong and I was silent, but he persisted, would I tell Him. And if he perused me and asked me what was going on, would I answer? Plainly, the answer was yes…so He told me, that He was here, waiting.
I sat in my garage, in the car, I opened my mouth and I told the Lord what had been ailing me. I told Him that I hadn’t read my word because it made me hope and want to move forward, but I thought I needed to stand still. He encouraged me to continue to stand still and hide in Him, but to read my word and pray out-loud. One of my thoughts on the Bible, is that it is a love letter from the Father and it is a way that I hear His heart. So, what He was basically saying to me was “Don’t run from Me because of all of the tests and trials, hide in Me and run to Me. Know that you don’t bug me…I long to hear your voice. I want to have intimate conversations with you and if you are disappointed or discouraged, I don’t want you to hide that from me. Always allow our hearts to stay connected…I love you!”
That was music to my ears and a melody to the song in my heart. I am so thankful that I have a God who care about me. He is so faithful and I could not make it in this life without Him.
I was going to try and catchup on my 31 DAYS OF PROVERBS and then post all of them, but I think I am just going to pick up where I left off and move forward from there. I hope you, the reader, understand, that I had a minor setback, but I am ready to move forward. I’m sure that the Lord has so much that He wants to say to us through His word and with a renewed perspective, I am thrilled about hearing His voice. He called me out this morning and told me to come and I know He will do the same to you…so come and don’t be ashamed, sometimes we stumble and are unsure, but there is a Mighty God, an Awesome Father, and an Intimate Friend, who won’t leave us that way. He is here, alive, and He does speak.